"Do We Need Distance To Become Close?"

So..

sex and the city's on t.v - and it always makes me want to blog.. probably because part of me feels like Carrie Bradshaw on this Macbook Pro..
I swear I need me a Samantha friend in my Life !!

Relationships are tricky aren't they..?

How do you know what you're looking for and when you've found it.??
What if you think you've found it.. but you're head keeps spinning and thoughts keep rushing?

(back to sex and the city)
so Carrie just typed..
"do we need distance to become close?"

funny question that..
can distance bring you further apart? or is it supposed to bring you closer?

i'm pretty sure it's supposed to bring you closer.. but what if you're a perfectionist, a self - efficient person someone who needs to be in control and needs things to be done in order - someone like myself..

..then feeling these emotions makes you feel out of your depth .. it chucks you into a dark hole.. where sadness and missing someone feels too negative and emotion to be wanting to feel.. i don't know if this is making sense at all..

but what i'm trying to say is.. sometimes what is supposed to be a positive outcome may not necessarily be..

nothing in life is simple - i'm learning more and more - to try and take things that hit me on the chin..

my mind recently has not stopped ticking.. so many things to do.. so little time..
im a selfish person..
part of me feels a taste of this distance will make me want more ..

however like I said take it on the chin ..

Live a little like "Samantha"

I hope you are all falling, loving, feeling, breathing and caring :)

Nikki x

Im Back Fighting!

Heyy Guys..

Sorry i know i've been neglecting the whole internet thing for a while now and i'm sorry!

I've been thinking about my blog and my youtube channel N1kk1sSecr3t for a while now..
I was thinking of deleting everything, buying me a dslr or a high resolution camera and starting all over again ....

but then i thought ..
"Confessions of a Blogger" and "N1kk1sSecr3t" would be destroyed.. there would be nothing left of me .. so i'm sticking through .. and i'm going to try and say consistent with my blogging as well as my videos..

Summer's arrived and it's difficult to keep up with everything.. but i'm still here ..and i love you all x

Here are just a couple of photo's to make up for my absence...

To be honest I've been having fun.. I've been concentrating on social life and just unwinding from the stresses of University.. but I am sure to be back to everything this week starting from tomo!
I have a list of things to do - a very long list - and I need to be on my own and concentrate on myself to achieve these goals

p.s I got a first for my last project of the year!
hard work always pays off!!

Love You x

Just Beautiful Words...

"Sometimes it lasts in love.. but sometimes it hurts instead"
the beautiful words sung by Adele..
it's true who would have know "how bittersweet this would taste"

My life at the moment is full of beautiful work, i've immersed myself in creativity and my career..
i create, i make, and i like to spread what i do ..
i feel lost when i have no projects set - i feel as if my life has no purpose - i need to be kept busy..
this i believe is the only way forward.
no one pushes you in life other than yourself.

I'm grateful i have found the right course and i do what I love - many struggle to find something they feel strongly about like this for their entire lives.

concentrate on yourself .. love yourself - what more can i say ...

live.love.laugh

make your world.

Confusion in Life..

Sometimes.. I wish I knew what awaited me around my next corner... sometimes I wish I didn't have to kiss frogs to find my Prince.
Life seems like a great big board game of snakes and ladders, you have highs where you feel as if you're reaching to the top.. then lows where life seems to slap you back in the face and you're back where you started.

I don't know where I am right now.. I felt as if I was moving forward, a strong woman .. career focused enough to move forward yes? But sometimes the lows really do seem low don't they>?

Maybe life is simple.. there's a world of great beauty, excitement and many opportunities.. there's also bad to whatever is out there and that may be crime, guilt, drugs .. it's your choice which path you pick. I guess it's your choice then.. how complex you may make your life.

Sometimes you have to realise you're own worth. You have to be able to understand how much you're worth and no matter how great the pain/ hurt, how much are you are wiling to succumb?

Fun and Happiness.. yeah?! that is what they say ,.. i just want to have fun "wake up every morning and feel free"..
Freedom - that's another, whenever you get involved with someone, dependent on your intentions and feelings, make sure you're not making a mistake, and if you are believe it.

My mother always told me when the time comes you must walk away .. it's better you do now in your life than 10 years down the line.. and believe me you're mother's are always correct.

My mother is my best friend.. she knows things other's don't, she's the only one I want to turn to and cry on the phone to, she's the one person I feel most comfortable with, and the only person in this world that understands me better than i probably do me.

I guess, wherever you are in this world ...make decisions, make the right one's make the wrong ones.. learn from them and live a successful life, and one day you will get exactly what you deserve x

Sorry I know it's Been a While..

Hey guys.. sorry I know it's been a while since my last post but i'm still here living breathing on a daily basis..

My task in life right now is to make a puppet an animal puppet. We have been partnered up in class and we have 10 weeks! the puppet should be nearish real size and will be performed on stage. So that's stressfull!!
we're two weeks in and the time is ticking!!

what else what else..
for some reason - maybe the love in the month of february has risen..
i say this because i feel like i have become some love doctor.. many of my friends have entered into relationships - many have left relationships and I regardless of good or bad information - have become the perfect person to talk to about all these fantastic or heart breaking stories.

Oww well sometimes it can be a drag as i have no relationship of my own - sometimes sad - yet sometimes rewarding - being single means these things will never play on my mind for the time i stay this way .

i 've also learnt alot about the people around me - in good ways and in bad !
but i am greatful to be here !

i am very content in life - i am happy with the good and the bad - because worrying about the bad constantly never will change anything.

i've learnt a lot about me - the fact that you can never finger in someone else's life - you can only touch and change yours.

love you and goodnight you beauty's xox

Life

Sorry i know i havent posted in a while guys!!

I've just been trying to sort my life out with uni work.. my future.. friends blah blah ..!
I've found i've been going out alot recently as I'm only in uni two days a week and haven't been set much work..
yes it angers me - because i should be working harder pushing myself hardr - but our large project starts on the 7th of feb - and i know i wont have a life for 10 weeks after this date so im trying to make the most of it !!

It's my mothers birthday today so HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!
she's my one and only best friend !!
shes my sister mother and best friend all in one and i really dont know what i would do in this life without her!!

I've not got much to rant about today!!
wishing you all beautiful days!!

stay smiling :)

You Know....

You know sometimes I Question...

"WHY MY?..WHY DID ALL OF THIS HAPPEN TO ME?"

But then again ..

"WHY NOT?!"

You can't say any fairer than that, can you.